The Lifelong Lesson of Surrender

There are some lessons in the Christian life that we imagine we'll eventually master. Like, patience, trust, forgiveness, contentment and surrender. I thought there would come a day when I could finally say, "Lord, I've learned it." But over the past year, I've realized something beautiful. Surrender isn't a lesson we graduate from. It's the place where we meet Jesus again and again.

When I look back over my life, I see that God has given me many different classrooms. A school bus. A cleaning business. A balloon company. At first glance, they couldn't be more different. One carries children. One serves families inside their homes. One celebrates life's most meaningful moments.Yet the Teacher has been the same in every one of them. And the lesson has never changed."Pam... whose is it?"

For twenty-six years, I've owned my cleaning company. My clients aren't just names on a schedule. Many have become dear friends. Some are elderly. Some are overwhelmed parents.Some simply need someone to help carry a burden they can no longer carry themselves. Cleaning has never been about dusting shelves. It's about lifting a weight from someone's shoulders. When things began falling apart a few weeks ago, I did what I often do.I tried to fix everything myself. One employee wasn't working out. Then another. The people that I deeply care for that I clean for and employ were disappointed. Schedules were falling apart. I called people. Posted online. Reached out to friends. I tried to solve every problem with my own strength. The harder I worked...the heavier everything became. My heart was so overwhelmed with worry and so heavy with the burden that I was never meant to carry!

Driving home one evening, I finally reached the end of myself. I remember praying out loud in my car."Jesus... I need you. I've made such a mess of this. These families depend on me. Tiana depends on me. I don't know what to do anymore. If it is Your will... Please provide the right person." It wasn't polished or eloquent in any way or form. It was simply raw and honest. And before I had even stepped out of my car...my phone rang. A young friend from church had seen my request. She knew someone desperately looking for work. Minutes later, my phone rang again. Her name was Amber.

Later, Amber told me she had submitted sixty-seven job applications. Sixty-seven!! No one had called her!! She was praying desperately with tears falling down her cheeks, for work. I was praying desperately with tears falling down my cheeks, for help. Neither of us knew God was answering both prayers at the very same moment. 

"Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear."— Isaiah 65:24

 Only God can weave lives together like that. Only God can answer two prayers with one phone call. That's my God!! That is Amber’s God!! That is how He shows up!!

As I reflected on everything that happened, I realized something. I hadn't been asking God to lead me. I had been asking Him to bless my plans.There is a difference. Proverbs 3:5–6 gently reminds us,

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."

I had spent weeks leaning on my own understanding. Then one desperate prayer reminded me whose business this really is. Not mine. It is His!! All His! Everything belongs to Him!

That lesson has followed me into Balloon Jubilee too. People often compliment the balloon, the creativity, the colors and the designs. But the longer I “own” this little business, the more I realize...the balloons are simply the bridge. Not just a bridge for clients to find me. A bridge for God to bring people into my life. Every order becomes an opportunity to serve. Every conversation becomes an opportunity to encourage. Every celebration reminds me that people are longing for something deeper than beautiful decorations.

They're longing to be seen. To be loved. To know someone genuinely sees them, not just as another customer but someone who is made in the image of God! I truly pray they experience that long before they ever notice the balloons.

 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men."— Colossians 3:23 

That verse isn't framed on my wall because I own a business. It's there because it reminds me who my true Employer is. balloon jubilee belongs to Him. The cleaning company belongs to Him. The gifts He has entrusted to me belong to Him. Even the people I love most...belong to Him.

That may be the hardest surrender of all. As a mother, I have learned there are places I cannot go for my children. There are decisions I cannot make for them.There are prayers only God can answer. Joseph is living on his own now. I continue to pray every day that the Lord will draw him closer to Himself. Like every mother, I want to fix things. I want certainty. I want answers. But the Lord keeps gently reminding me..."Pam... whose is he?" He was never mine to own. He has always belonged to God. Just as I do.

When I think about Abraham placing Isaac on the altar...Moses surrendering control...David waiting for the throne God had promised...Esther risking everything...Peter laying down his own strength...Paul surrendering his own plans...I realize they all shared one lesson.Surrender. Even Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, prayed,

"Not My will, but Yours, be done."
— Luke 22:42 

If the Son of God walked the path of surrender...why would I expect mine to look different?

I used to ask,"Lord... please fix this." Now I'm learning to ask a different question. "Lord... this is Yours. What would You have me do?" One prayer begins with the problem and the other begins with surrender.

Looking back over this past year, I can see His fingerprints everywhere. A church that lovingly encouraged us during difficult days. An employee who arrived at exactly the right time. Clients who trusted me. New opportunities for Balloon Jubilee. Quiet reminders that God was still writing the story, even when I couldn't yet see the next chapter. He has been faithful in every season. Not because every circumstance has changed.But because He has not changed and He never will!

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
— Hebrews 13:8

Perhaps surrender isn't God's way of taking things from us. Perhaps it's His invitation to finally stop carrying what was never ours to hold. Our businesses. Our children. Our talents. Our dreams. Our future. Open hands don't lose what God has given. They simply place it back into the hands where it has always belonged. And every time I do...I discover the same beautiful truth. He was already carrying it all along.

Today, the Lord still gently asks me the same question He has been asking in every season of my life..."Pam... whose is it?" And little by little, by His grace, my answer is becoming quicker. "Lord... it's Yours." My work, my family, my dreams, my future and even me. It's all Yours.

A Prayer🙏

Dearest Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being patient with me as You teach me this lesson over and over again. When I reach for control, remind me to reach for Your hand instead. Help me to serve every client, every family, every child, and every person You place in my path with excellence—not to build my own name, but to reflect Yours. Teach me to trust You with my businesses, my family, my future, and especially the people I love most. Help me remember that nothing entrusted to me has ever truly belonged to me. It has always belonged to You. May my life, my work, and every celebration I create become bridges that lead people to Your kindness, Your faithfulness, and Your love.

In Jesus' precious name,

Amen.